I own a mansion, but live in a A king-size bed, but I sleep on the I'm Mr.Brightside, is half full But my tank is half empty, gasket just
always happens, thirty minutes from home Gotta lay a log cabin and only option I is McDonald's bathroom In a public stall a football So every time someone walks in the I get Madden ''Shady, what What? Come on, man, I'm crapping And you're asking me for my got damn autograph on a Oh, that's odd, I happened to run out of tissue Yeah, hand me that, on thought I'd be glad then ''Thanks, dawg, name's Todd, a big I my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and Told him ''Todd, you're the shit'' when does all of crap end? Can't my ass without causing an accident Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't out the fucking trash Without someone passing my sub harassing I'd count my blessings, but I at math I'd rather wallow then suffering from succotash But the antacid is my gas I mix my with my fucking mash Potato, so what, ho, my country bumpkin ass Missouri roots, what the fuck is upperclass Call lunch dinner, dinner supper Tupperware in a covered plastic up the ass Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass
Maybe that's why I so strange Got it all, but I won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave It's the motivation that keeps me This is the I need I can never turn my back on a city that me (Life's good to me so far)
They call me classless, I that, I second and third that Don't know what the fuck I would if it weren't rap be a giant turd-sack But I blew, never turned Turned forty and sag Teenagers act more mature, Jack Fuck you say to me? I leave on my own terms, asshole, I'm going My nerves are bad, but I the perks my work has I get to meet people, look at her, dag Her nylons ran, her skirt And I she drag-races, *burp* swag Fucking my Hanes tag Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag We'd be the perfect 'Cause a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag My apologies, no to technology But what the heck is all of buttons? You expect me to sit here and learn Fuck I gotta do to this new song from Luda? Be an expert at I'd rather be an encyclopedia Britannica, hell with a I'm still on my manual from Zelda Nintendo, bitch, run, jump, punch, stab and I the on my spaghetti, put in on bread Make a sandwich welch's and belch They say spray butter is bad for my health, but I think there's white trash from the trailer Jed Clampett, Redd welfare mentality helps to Keep me grounded, why I never take full advantage of wealth, I Managed to dwell these parameters Still cramming the shelves full of hamburger I can't even help it, this is the hand I was to Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal With all pet peeves God dammit to hell, I can't stand all these kids with their cellphones I go anywhere, I get so mad I can yell, the Other day got little elaborate and stuck a fucking dead cat in my mailbox Went to Burger King, they spit on my rings I think my karma is catching up me
Maybe that's why I feel so Got it all, but I still change Maybe that's why I leave Detroit It's the motivation that keeps me This is the I need I can never my back on a city that made me (Life's good to me so far)
Got friends on Facebook, all the world Not sure that means, they tell me it's good So I'm of the decade, I even got a plaque I'd hang it up, but the frame is all
I'm to be lowkey, hopefully nobody notices me In produce hunched over, giant stop as I mosey over to the frozen aisle By the frozen this guy approached me Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Show's over, I'm hiding in Kroeger groceries He just had front row seats, me to sign this poster Then insults me "wow, up close didn't know you had feet" I'm at a crossroad till shopping at Costco Sloppy Joe's, waffles Got picking my nose, ah over see these two hot hoes Finger still up in one of my Right next to 'em stuck at the This fucking shit is taking to change I'm stuck, bitches are loving it rubbing it in Chuckling, do nothing, play it off ''What you bumping? Trunk Yelawolf's better'', fucking bitch They want me to flip at the label, but I succumb to it The pressure, they want me to follow up another one after Recovery Was so highly coveted, but what good is a fucking recovery if I it? 'Cause drop the ball if I don't get a grip Hopping on on you sons of bitches Wrong subdivison to with, bitch Quit fucking pictures of my kids I love my city, but you me to my limit, what a pity The shit I about It's like there ain't a in the sky and it's raining out Kool Aid on the couch, I'd never get it out Bitch, I got an in my house and a mouse, I'm living the dream
Maybe that's why I so strange Got it all, but I won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave It's the that keeps me going is the inspiration I need I can turn my back on a city that made me (Life's been to me so far)